God allows pain to help teach a lesson just like when you let a child ride a bike knowing that the child will probably fall and get hurt. However, this helps the child learn to ride the bike. They have similar thing in Alcoholics Anonymous, it's called practicing detachment. What they teach the families is that when a loved one is spiralling down, you can only do so much and then them let go and let them hit bottom.
Pastor James taught on something similar recently. He was talking about being stubborn and that if you refuse to take Godly advise, then you run the risk of the person or persons that speak into your life to let you go and not speak anymore.
These things are similar, in that, God lets you go until you hit bottom and look up to him. God is trying to bring us back to where we were before the fall. Jesus is the reset button.