Some Musical Commentary

As those who know me, I am an avid music listener. You can see some of my current favorites in my profile. One band that is not on that list is the band FM Static. It is the brain child of two of the guys in Thousand Foot Krutch (TFK). One of their songs has become one of my more favorite songs as of late. Just to give you an idea of the band, most of the songs, lyrically, talk about teenage problems, but I have been finding adult things in the disc as well. The song that has been on my mind as of late is the song “Something to Believe In.” The song is about how churches sometimes make kids feel like it’s “teenage hunting season” during the school year. It is an easy thing to do if your motivations to spread the Gospel is off the mark. However, the part of the song that I have been drawn to is this section:

And if you don’t know what im talking about,

It’s probably better cause im working out,

Don’t wanna spend my lifetime figurin out,

That i coulda just said one prayer

And if you know what i’m talking about,

Then together were both working it out,

Don’t wanna spend my lifetime figuring out

I missed the point now it’s over

I’ve felt that I’ve come through one of those times where I have worked it out. I was on my way home earlier and I am feeling that my upcoming birthday is going to be another mark in the life of change. Let me explain…When I was 18-19 years old, the change in my life was going into adulthood. When I was 28-29, I changed the direction in my life by dumping all of the relationships and garbage of the previous 10 years (well not all of my friendships, just the harmful ones). That also happened to correspond to my time in Antarctica, Which, by the way 10 years ago today, I landed at McMurdo Station on Ross Island to start my year at the South Pole. Very therapeutic. Now, as I look back over the last 10 years, I now have a better handle on the Wesley theology term of sanctifying grace, as I have seen some miraculous changes and some very subtle changes in my life. It would take to long to type all of it here, but suffice it to say that I am at more peace with my life now than I have ever been. It just took the last 20 years to appreciate the rough spots. Most of which, I caused from making bad decisions. So as far as I am concerned, I feel that I can rewrite the last part of that song by saying that while I am still working it out, I haven’t missed the point and it is far from over.

Now it is time to do dishes and get my lunch ready for work. Mids can be such a drag sometimes…

And by the way TFK rulz!!!!

Just Waking up

The thing about working on midnights, which I’m doing now, is that you wake up in the evening. It seems kind of a shame in the summer as the sun begins to set as you are waking up. In the case of the late fall and winter, it stays dark all of the time while I am awake.

So when is it being too nosy?

There are those who may be reading this particular entry and asking themselves, “does he mean me?” The answer is no. What I’m referring to here is what questions are appropriate for me to ask at times. This all stems from those little portions of my formerly anxious self that still haven’t fully been excorcised. In a way this is my way of trying to get past those things that hold me back without causing some people uncomfortable with my wanting to get to know them. You know it is easy to have a relationship with God. You can ask Him anything and He won’t feel uncomfortable with you. People are another matter.

Part of this worrying goes back many years ago, when I was dating a woman in Grand Rapids. She claimed that I didn’t ask enough questions of her for us to be communicating. I didn’t think so. Though I was usually paralyzed in my fear as to what was an appropriate question. I’m not so much paralyzed by such things in most cases now, but it can happen.

I look at my experiences with the youth group and I run into the same thing there. I want to show that I care about their lives and activities (and I don’t think that kids get enough of this in our culture now), but I must balance the fact that I’m not their parent and that I don’t need to know everything nor am I supposed to. However, its hard to have a friendship with anyone without talking, discussing and truly learning about the other.

However, I like to talk and if I meet someone that I like to hang with, that can mean trouble. Well maybe not trouble, but after while I begin to feel like I’m hanging around too much and asking too many questions and that I would be monopolizing their time at the expense of others.

So I’m wondering, when is it being too nosy?

(I’m beginning to think that no matter how old you are you still suffer from the same insecurities that you did when you were a teenager. Just look what I just wrote!)